Sunday, July 25, 2010

"Wifed Up"

I have never really felt the need to procreate until recently. This is mostly due to the fact that I have been helping to raise my 10 month old nephew and through this, have for the first time realized that being a father is something I would excel at. With that said; I still ain't having no damn kids for ten years at least lol. I bring the notion of fatherhood up because I had a conversation with a female friend today that disturbed me. A typical nonsensical chat about something or other ended up touching on goals. Personal goals, ambitions and ultimate desires in life. My friend is preparing for grad school but is far from excited about it. She sees it as an obligation. Something she is forced to do if she wants to earn a certain wage. Her field of study does not inspire or motivate her, she simply knows that it pays well. And as soon as she has the opportunity to get "wifed-up" by a man who can provide for her she is planning on jumping at the opportunity to get out of the working world and happily claim the role of the traditional housewife.

I have nothing against a person wanting to build a family. And since my I can only trace my own family's line back to one biological grandparent, I have developed the urge to lay a foundation for a large and sprawling clan. But her reasons for wanting a husband seemed to be purely born from the fact that most of her hobbies are tied into different forms of conspicuous consumption. She proudly proclaimed that none of her friends want to work either. This bothered me. If you don't care to have an education, if you only plan to use it for monetary gain, and if you're just waiting for a rich man to come and hand you credit cards, why go through post-grad? Why spend the money and time if you are going to loathe every minute of it? Being a stay-at-home mom because you want to provide an experience for your children filled with family and not strangers doing all the child-rearing is one thing, doing it because you want to shop is an entirely different matter.

That mindset is so incredibly foreign to me. There are times when I've become distracted from directly pursuing my passions but never a time where I wanted NOTHING. I'm fairly positive that I am meant to be a father one day, and if I do become one I hope to raise the kind of children who are able to find purpose in the world, with a woman who has already discovered her own and done all she could to fulfill that role.

1 comment:

  1. ....annnnd why take up that precious spot in the post-grad program?! there are tons of others who are passionate and or want to have that specific career for their lifetime and not throw it away ;)